relationships « Always fetching my muses

Things guys want us to know but can’t say

May 21, 2008 at 8:39 am | In relationships | Leave a Comment
Tags: life, love, men, personals, relationships, unsaid thing, women

It is general notion that men usually kee things to themselves and just let things pass without hinting a word, that they avoid confrontations as much as possible. These things are actually good for us, in a dominating sense, but hey, for my part, I would like a little voicing out. It’s pretty scary to see someone so silent and meek to just burst out in anger and lose control.

Think it will be fair ro air their sides for once. Here are a couple of things men want to say but out of a number of reasons that they themselves only know, can’t let us know.

1. Chivalry’s still alive and kicking. Loads of men still would want to open the doors for us and pay for dinner or even pour wine for us. So, let them do these things if they want to, as long as we can feel that they do it wholeheartedly.

2. Majority of men get annoyed when we answer our phones during a date, except when it’s an emergency and it still bugs them what situations qualifies for us women as emergencies.

3. Men would really appreciate if we would be more open in learning what they like to do. Like watch baseball games or playing poker with them. For my part, I want to learn to play poker,really.

4. Our words are everything to them. So they take whatever we say, if we say we’re ok, they’ll believe that, even though ok is our metaphor for there’s something wrong and we need to talk. Men are pretty straight-forward so a little degree of directness from us women won’t hurt as well.

5. Like us women, they also need to bond with their friends without us barging in and looking devastatingly beautiful. So, let’s give them the time once in a while.

I don’t pretend to be an expert on guys or know how to size them up perfectly. But these are just from what I gathered from a couple of guy friends I have. And we have a lot to be thankful to God when he created men even how independent we are. I think it applies to all. Women also expect the above from men but the difference is that we say it out loud. What’s important is that we compromise and give each other a little bit of freedom.

It’s out, guys fake IT toO

May 1, 2008 at 7:34 am | In relationships, sex | 1 Comment
Tags: men, relationships, sex

I got a good a laugh when I read this news clip that men fake the O word. It is a known fact that only few women, studies show only 20% of women reach the O stage. But for men? This is something new to the mainstream, although a lot of my girl friends admit during dinner that they felt that their men are just posers in bed in terms of letting it all out. But it wasn’t given much thought but now, it is!

Achieving this much-sought O moment can not be determined even if a woman is in bed with the hottest actor around, right girls? Well, it adds up the thrill but achieving this euphoria is a two-way action. The article went to say that antidepressants affects how men “work” to achieve it and women tend to be achieve it less during the actual intercourse. And the reason isn’t only physiological, but the mind plays a factor as well. Just like us, men also feel the pressure to let it out because they have to or else they aren’t that good.

Then we all get used to faking it and never really realizing how much it feels good to achieve that phenomenon. Bottom line, we all at some time fake it, pretend to have reached that peak because we want our partners to feel satisfied. Talk about sacrificing. I am not going to dwell how to achieve it as I am not a sex expert, but I think just like any other life situation, we need to shake off the pressure so that we can focus on getting there. That ’s easier said than done, but then, it can’t be achieved unless we work on it.

Things that can make boys cry(Not that I really want this to happen)

April 17, 2008 at 6:00 am | In men, relationships | Leave a Comment
Tags: crying, men, relationships

Have you heard of Fergie’s song? Big girls don’t cry? It talked about a break-up and she was convincing herself not to try despite the unfortunate event. Usually, the girl is hurt most during a break-up. But do you know, that some guys cry too? In Britain, British men may be sterling examples of masculinity but that does not prevent more than half of them from crying their eyes out after being dumped, according to a survey.

In our society, males are seen as the steel type – hard, strong and courageous, when in fact, when a guy cries in front of a girl, it is a good sign. It simply means that the guy can let go of his feelings and is using that as an outlet compared to a guy who doesn’t, beware! According to a study, men who can’t express their feelings by crying tend to express their feelings through anger. So you see, men who cry aren’t sissies or gays. They are stronger than those men who don’t cry.

Is that the only way to make them cry? Guess not! Girls, are you feeling a bit naughty?

1. Dump Them – If you don’t love your guy anymore, dump them. If they love you, they will cry. If they don’t, lucky you, you did the right thing.

2. Reverse Psychology- use this until it irritates them so much, they will want to cry! Try telling them, “You don’t love me anymore” lines and wait until they get irritated. If the guy gets angry, he is the “man of steel” type who uses anger as an outlet.

3. Defeat – Lose your ego and you forget your stand. Have you seen crucial basketball games? When the team losses, some cry. I have seen them with my own eyes.

Just remember, a guys feeling is not there to be played, so are girls’ feelings. So, if you don’t want others to let you cry, do not do it to others. Can you find a better way to let boys cry than these?

Chick flicks you can take your guy with to watch

March 27, 2008 at 8:44 am | In girl movies, movies, relationships | 1 Comment
Tags: chick flicks, girl movies, men, movies, relationships, women

No matter how romantic or sweet we get with our guys, there are just things that have boundaries. One of them includes getting them to dress up and watch the latest chick flick at the theaters.

Seems that the term, “chick flick” now has a somewhat negative connotation with it and whenever mean hear this word, they look like they want to get away as fast as Snape in the the Harry Potter books is confronted with shampoo. When a movie for the chicks is on the big screen, we don’t normally take our guys, we take the girls with us, which isn’t really bad considering that we can cry without getting embarassed or we can get all thrilled up without appearing shallow. But then again, it will be nice if they can appreciate it with us, right?

A movie about what women want has already surfaced, now men on askmen.com are speaking out on chick flicks that they, operative word, would, watch.

Don’t know if this holds true for all men, but hey, it’s the closest thing we can get to deciphering the male psyche.

1. Bridget Jones’ Diary

We all love how Renee Zellweger brought sexy back by being plus-size in this movie. And how she got the man because of it. There is no outward reason why a guy would want to stick around watching it but have seen a couple of guys watching it and they laughed and actually enjoyed it. So, that’s a starting point.

2. Mean Girls

This was the time that Lindsay Lohan was still somewhat tolerable. And who wouldn’t love to watch all over again the Jingle Bell song rendition by the four girls? Plus, you have the redeeming value in the end where all the girls gone wild went decent and with less makeup. Guys would be able to tolerate this as they consider this as a “smarter” movie than its counterparts. Maybe because Tina Fey co-wrote it.

3. Blue Crush

Do I need to emphasize why they would watch this with you? Kate Bosworth and the rest of the cast in bikinis and who all seem to live in the beach all their lives. But for us, the drawing factor are the men with the six-pack abs.

4. The Craft

Talk about girl power to another level. Most girls in their teens will play with dolls, but the 4 main characters here played with voodoos and memorized spells instead of tear-jerker dialogues. But the above-the-knee skirts and skimpy blouses would draw the guys to watch this.

5. Serendipity

Who wouldn’t fall for how Kate Beckinsale and John Cusack were drawn by fate? From the same elevator signs to Gabriel’s Garcia-Marquez’ book, we all cry in joy. So, how will let your guy watch this with you? We have to thank John Cusack’s not so cheesy performance here and let them know that it’s only for 90 minutes, there.

6. When Harry Met Sally

Ok, this is like at the top of their not-to-watch list. But for us, women, this is the epitomy of the ultimate date movie. But a guy would actually watch once he focuses on the great jokes that came from Billy Crystal’s mouth. Thanks, Billy.

7. An officer and a gentleman

A young, hard-headed navy officer finds stability when he meets the girl. Now, who wouldn’t be drawn to that, well, most guys won’t. But what will entice them to watch this is that they’ll see a Top Gun feel to it. Maybe with the navy stuff, perhaps?

8. Thelma and Louise

The accidental yet almost necessary killing of the attempted rapist by Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis’ character makes the movie appealing. But what will make your guy stay for the entire movie are the hot wheels.

9. Desperately Seeking Susan

In this movie, a bored woman becomes a desperate housewife after seeing a newspaper ad. Girl power 80’s version is the main selling point for women, but for guys, it is admittedly the costume design that will get their attention.

10. Meet Joe Black

No need to emphasize how this appeals to women. Brad Pitt is the main selling point. The plot of a guy originally from the bad side turning into the light because of love can never be missed.

But what will drive the men to sit with you is the so brutal and death scene which is appealing to the guys.

Guys go for the action flicks where they can drink beer while watching. But at the end of the day, watching a movie together is a good way to bond and get the romance rekindled. If you can get to watch one of this chick flicks with you, then you’d got the upperhand. But if this doesn’t work, you can also beat him at ibeatyou,a new site a guy friend introduced to me where we can compete in unusual yet funny events. We all just want to spend quality time together, right?